Self love and it’s way into our lives.

Hola, lovely people! I hope everyone’s doing good. So you can pretty much predict my inconsistency in writing over the period of time. Forgive me for that. Anyway today I’m here to talk about self love, why it is important in our lives, what role does it play in healing ourselves and how.

What is self-love?

Firstly, what is Love? We all know it since we all have experienced love in one way or that other right? A feeling so pure that it’s meaning differs for each and every individual. And when we love someone, we take care of their needs, necessities, happiness and well-being. We never want to hurt the person we love and most importantly we give them our time.

So coming to self-love, you can know it all by yourself that it means the “love of self”. Comparing love and self-love we only find one difference that is whom we are loving at a particular moment of time and period. When we love ourselves, take care of our own needs, necessities, happiness is what self love means. At times, it demands us to be selfish, asking us to prioritise what we want for ourselves. And that’s totally fine to do so, because of all the love that we give to other people, we are allowed to give some to ourselves too.

Why self love is important to us?

Belonging to a generation where everything happens at such a fast pace, demanding competitiveness in almost everything we do, where everything happens virtually from talking to people to getting to know about their lives over social media, it’s important that we inculcate self love.

There are times when we feel low, stressed, pressured about different things, frustrated over studies, work life, future and what not. There are times when we almost start to think that other people are having better live than ours. We start to feel anxious about the quality of our own lives, get depressed, overthink about alot of things that ultimately makes us more unhappy. Well, since we are humans, we are never satisfied with what we have, right? But all those happy faces over social media, they’re just moments, we never know what someone is going through by just looking at a picture, or just texting them for a period of time. Also now and then we get hurt by people we love too. And at times like this, we need nothing but a little love for ourselves from ourselves.

How to inculcate self love?

The act of loving oneself is an art and it’s a very slow process. We can’t give a particular time for it to happen like a few days, months or even years. And before self love there are many things that come into consideration like self tolerance, having confidence in oneself, self care, self therapy, etc. It doesn’t matter how many people we talk to or how many people we are close to, at the end of the day everyone has their own battle to fight. We are all by ourselves. So it’s better if we start to learn how to be self sufficient. So here are some ways to do so.

1. Practice self care :

It is very important that we get enough sleep, eat healthy and stay healthy. Start doing things that make you feel happy, relaxed and make you feel like you’re investing the time in doing something good for yourself.

2. Self therapy :

Sometimes it’s necessary that we take our own advice, obviously the positive ones! Talking to oneself is the best way that one can heal one’s inner self.

3. Self confidence :

Start by telling yourself small things like “I can do it”. If not for yourself atleast for the ones you love. Because people who care about you wants you to grow and to see you succeed in your life. Just do the thing you want and eventually confidence will follow.

4. Thinking positively about yourself:

Thinking makes a person who they are so it’s very important what we think of ourselves. Thinking positively about oneself doesn’t happen overnight. Start by telling that I’m a human and I deserve this like everyone else. If you can’t see yourself as beautiful then tell yourself that you’re not ugly. Make small changes in your way of thinking, and you will eventually see changes in you overtime.

5. You are a complete person by yourself:

Many people think that we are incomplete and that we are just a portion. There should be another person to love us and make us complete. No! That’s wrong. Every individual is complete by themselves.

6. Give yourself space and time to feel your emotions :

We as humans feel many different emotions, and we are told once in a while to take control over our emotions. But we should try surrendering to what we feel sometimes. Because stacking them up inside us will only lead to losing one’s peace of mind. If we cling to those stacked up emotions, it will only trigger the growth of negative emotions.

7. Respect and have gratitude for yourself :

Every individual is unique and gifted. Sometimes people push themselves so much that it causes them pain, it might not be physical but mentally. We do so much, sometimes for others, and sometimes to fit in the society or the status quo. We should take time to reflect on ourselves, respect ourselves and thank ourselves for everything we have done and accomplished.

How does self love heal us?

We are broken and beautiful in many ways. We as humans can never be perfect, we are bound to be flawed but it’s important that we understand ourselves and try to make ourselves a better person.

Self love helps us to believe in ourselves. We believe that time heals everything as we keep going on in our lives. But “WE” heal ourselves with time, time doesn’t heal us. It teaches us to see the positive side of every circumstance and situation that we’ve gone through, and to learn from those. It helps us to see ourselves in a way that nobody does. It reminds us that we are better off without the people that hurt us, without other people’s judgements, toxic energy and the status quo that limits us from being who we are.

There are times when I feel low, overthink about certain things, but I say fuck it, because thinking over and over again won’t make the problem go away. So it’s better to keep my peace of mind and do things that I’m supposed to do inspite of being lazy (I know y’all know it). So wrapping it up for now, take care Loves.

Does sizing yourself down necessarily mean losing those extra pounds that can be seen on the scale?

Hi loves! I know it’s been long since I’ve written but let me give you a little summary about the content of this blog and not get into you all really judging me how lazy I can be! I am kidding. So this blog basically includes some misconceptions involved while we are losing weight or trying to get fit. And some tips from my side, the ones that I’ve tried which helped me to size myself down and to maintain more or less a healthy lifestyle. Just saying.. I eat alot of unhealthy food.. hahaha!

First let me come to the point why someone might shed their extra pounds. There might be many reasons love, some people might have health issues and their doctors might want them to lose some weight or some people are just inclined to maintaining a healthy lifestyle and remaining more fit or some people might want to be feel more confident by changing their bodies. So I am not basically forcing you to shed your cute chubby fatties. Okay? Secondly, a person shouldn’t use unhealthy means to lose weight like extreme fasting or not eating at all.

When it comes to reducing the overall body measurements many people think that looking for a change in the weighing scale is what it means to become slim. But alas it’s not the case, I wish there was someone who could tell me that! Let me be specific I’ve struggled lot while growing up with fluctuating weights and body measurements, and I am sure it is not something we can keep intact. But what we should know is that our bodies change with different exercises and workouts, and sometimes we lose fats but gain muscles. And muscles do have weight of their own. So during those first weeks of exercise you’re gonna lose weight that means you’re gonna lose the layers of unused and unnecessary body fats which will be clearly visible in the weighing scale. But as you continue your exercises you’ll notice that there is not much change in your weight, and that is when many people get frustrated (I was too) but the truth is those intermediate fats are really tough to lose and sometimes you might be gaining muscles too. Here is picture that will give you a better view of what I am trying to explain.

So as you can see above, she was thin and almost down to 122 lbs but the last picture of her looks more fit and sized down though her weight is more. This means she has gained muscles.

Never expect your body to become like the ones you see in social media. Those pictures are them flexing at that moment. People might get pretty toned by taking protein shakes, different supplements and going to gym alot but that doesn’t mean they won’t have fats. People look different in different poses, relaxed or flexed. And we must love our body for what it is.

Never expect extreme changes from the very first day of exersicing or involving yourself in any physical activity. Because everyone has a different body. Sometimes it might take a few weeks time for a person to get toned or slim down while for some, it might take months. Hold on to your pace and work it out. For me, it took months because I gain weight easily but it’s really difficult when it comes to losing it. But I’ve a muscular body which gets toned to whatever target exercise I am doing.

Speaking of target exercises, one must know that when you start exercising and you want to lose your overall fats, don’t start working on a particular body part first. It’s not gonna help you slim down easily. Firstly do exercises that are meant for the shedding of your overall body fats and then slowly combine it with target exercises.

It is also very important to know our bodies first, a proper understanding of our body type will help us to visualise how we will actually look when we will lose weight or get toned. Our body type also determines how much of proteins, carbs and fats we are to include in our diet. But leaving that aside if we eat healthy and exercise there are not much restrictions and inclusions in our diet.

As I said earlier that I’ve a muscular fit which means I have a mesomorph body type. I am including a picture with the descriptions so that you can know your body better.

So here is a description of the type of workout depending upon what body type you have-

1. Ectomorph: This body type is accompanied by tall and thin physique with a high metabolism rate. It’s difficult for this body type to gain more fats or muscles. So main focus should be on muscle gaining and strengthening them. Mainly 5 days per week of strength training and a little cardio (maybe 3 days for 30 mins) just to maintain the health.

2. Mesomorph: This body type generally have broader shoulders and narrower waist with a athletic build. They are prone to gaining both muscles and fats so it it important to balance it out. Almost equal parts of heart pumping cardio (3-5 days a week at a moderate to vigorous level) and muscle building (strength training – might be 3 per week). Needs to check on calories.

3. Endomorph: This body type is curvy with weight carried mostly in the lower half. More days should be involved in moderate to vigorous cardio, this will help not to pack on pounds. Strength training almost 2-3 days per week. This body type also needs to check on calories.

So coming to body shape, many people think that most of the population have the same body shape but as we size down we have a clear picture of how our body looks. And it is important to know that every body type is ideal and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

SOME TIPS TO SIZE YOURSELF DOWN YET MAINTAINING A HEALTHY BODY

1. Firstly keep track of your calorie intake on a normal day and then head for a calorie deficit diet. Cut few of those calories and not all at a time. And there are meals that you can prepare available in Youtube specially if you’re Indian and want a calorie deficit diet but proper amount of nutrition also.

2. Cut off daily heavy snacks intake. Include healthy snacks, eat fruits, dry fruits and water alot. I know you might know this but many people have a habit of binge eating like me so it’s important to have a control on the amount of snacks. And sometimes our body just triggers feelings of hunger but actually our body might just need water.

3. A glass of lukewarm water or water with added lemon and honey is beneficial in the morning.

4. Maintain a proper time for food or maybe a time interval. After each meal give time to digest atleast for 4-5 hours. You might take water or light snacks in between.

Because After you eat, it takes about 6-8 hours for food to pass through our stomach and small intestine. Food then enters our large intestine (colon) for further digestion, absorption of water and, finally, elimination of undigested food. It takes about 36 hours for food to move through the entire colon.

5. Dinner should be taken at 8 – 8:30 p.m because that gives our stomach a little time for digestion before sleep.

6. Intermediate fasting can be really helpful. It is an eating pattern where you cycle between periods of eating and fasting. I personally maintain a duration of 12-13 hours of fasting from my dinner to breakfast. Dinner at 8 or 8:30 p.m and breakfast at 9:30 or 10 a.m.

7. It is very important to be consistent with our workout routine. Sometimes we might not feel like doing and that’s absolutely fine but we shouldn’t be skipping always, Right? Atleast 30 mins of any physical activity is also beneficial for our health.

9. Every type of exercise helps us to remain fit and target different muscles and it’s strength, so try out different types of exercises. I personally do HIIT and different workouts.

10. Eat whatever you want but in a considerate amount and not over the top. I always used to eat over the top, yeah it’s frustrating to control when you’re foodie but if we want to achieve a certain body goal it’s definitely worth it right.

Now also, specially being an Indian and Assamese, my staple diet is rice which means carbs but I make sure I eat alot of greeniesss, proteins and useful fats. Okay! so I eat junk foods also. And I don’t limit myself into not eating chips or cold drinks or burger, pizza, ice- cream, noodles or anything. But I make sure that I am taking it in considerate amount and also cutting it off with double the healthy things. And to be honest homemade food is always the best, ain’t it? And don’t forget your green tea. And personally I’ve a sweet tooth, I crave sugar like anything so I would advice anyone having cravings like me to have but not so much. Large sugar intakes won’t help in overall weight loss.

Lastly, I’ll end up by saying- Size yourself down but not in numbers . It should be seen in our body and not on the scale. It is what one should feel. And being active always helps us to be mentally strong and happy. Right?

Love ya! Take care.

What is the definition of beauty?

Hi loves! Here I come after many days. So today I want to talk about what beauty really means to a particular individual. I guess the definition of beauty is different for all, so to comment about a particular individual will be controversious! And also remember that beauty and beauty standards are two totally different things! And I am going to talk about both of the terms.

A combination of qualities, such as shape, colour, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight is called beauty.

It is the definition that I got from google. So as written above, it can be understood that beauty has different aspects as it only depends on the sight or senses of an individual, how it pleases them. Beauty is not bound or has any rules, how a particular person should look but it surely has a connection to how an individual adores their body and carries it.

Beauty comes in different colours, forms, shapes and also in different criterions. According to me anyone is beautiful who carries their body with confidence and loves it with all the flaws they have. Beauty has different meanings in cultural, spiritual, aesthetic level or any other criteria where people put it. For an individual, beauty is judged by the perception that resides in their minds but for a society, it is done by what we call beauty standards! Every country, every tribe, have different beauty standards of their own. And based on those, the society judges someone or measures someone’s beauty and it also depends on how people from those countries or tribes have lived up till today. Isn’t it unfair though? From centuries, men and women had different perspectives about beauty. Few centuries considered, hairy upper lips of women to be a sign of beauty while few considered being flawless was beauty. Speaking of men, they had less of these standards except for their style, class or background to be judged on. Skipping the centuries perspective, let us come to the standards of different tribes or countries.

So here are some things what men and women in different parts of the world find attractive from a cultural point of view.

Continue reading →

What is body image?

So when we hear about the word body image what comes to our mind?

Basically, it is what we think by looking ourselves in the mirror or how does our body make us feel right? But the word body image is much more to that!

Body image is a person’s perception of the aesthetics or sexual attractiveness of their own body. It involves how a person sees themself, compared to the standards that have been set by society.

This is a definition that I got in Google, yeah it’s copied, I know what you all will think about me but do you want to know what I think about body image? First let me tell you the above sentence in simple – it means that what kind of thoughts and feelings we have when we see or feel our body, it maybe positive as well as negative, what kind of perception do we have of how a body should be and how does it affect our mental or physical health when we see our body or compare it to the body image standard set by the society.

So being told the meaning, now I come to my definition of body image – it is simply how much happy we can be with our body, by looking at it or by feeling ourselves! How much confident we can feel being inside our own body and not comparing it to any standards or with other people, or how much comfortable we can be in our own skin with all the insecurities we have!

Yes! So when it comes to body image everything of our body matters – our skin, our looks, our body fat, our size,our sexiness, etc. But it is just the external appearance, isn’t our personality also a part of us, so indirectly it is also a part of our body. Right? Why don’t we consider our mental state also a part of our body? Why we only feel that the outer appearance is more important and forget to focus on our insides, I mean our potentials and who we are to attain the happiness with our body image?

Everyone in this world has some insecurities related to their body! The stretch marks, the loose skin, maybe the freckles, a humped nose or maybe the pigmentation in private areas right? Most of us have these insecurities ( men and women) because we are never open about these things, no one is ! We live in a society where the beauty standards are so high that we forget about being normal or looking abit like any other people. Today’s youth basically the youngsters are so much influenced by social media, the models in social media, who maybe are skinny or have a perfect skin or have a perfect body etc. So they forget about who they are, what truely gives them happiness and just focus on being the one they see to attain the fake happiness which we eventually realise over time, all of us!

The standards of body image have so many negative impacts on the mental health of a person. We don’t love our bodies, we don’t feel confident enough to wear anything we like, we suffer from depression, why? Because we are bound to something that restricts us from loving who we truely are. We should understand that our outer appearance alone doesn’t make us happy, we should be happy from inside too.

So here let me tell a little bit about myself. I was always a chubby kid and when I was in 6th standard (hit puberty), I started to eat alot and I became fat. I was advised by many people that I should lose weight and all. I didn’t give them much importance unless one day I was called a pig on the road by a biker guy while I was returning from school with my sister! I was so sad and I felt like I need to change myself so that people around me would be attracted towards me! And yes I lost weight from 74 kg to 62 kg( I’ve alot of bone weight so I looked really skinny in 62 kg). But after slimming down also sometimes I would be sad or gloomy, or just not enough happy, so I realised the fact that we are skinny or fat doesn’t even matter when it comes to happiness (to an extent it gives when we do it for ourselves, or to live a healthy life). And bdw atlast after many years I knew that guy was looking at a nearby shop where pork was available and was telling his friend ( I ran the scenario alot of times in my head. Hahaha..so I gotta know). Never mind but I realised what I had to. So what I’ve learned over the past few years is that first comes loving our body, our own skin no matter what colour it is, then comes being comfortable and confident in it and then finally improving ourself to attain certain body goals for a healthy living! (If we are willing to).

So you see it’s all in our head, it is us who’s the one to decide to be happy with our body, it’s us who’s responsible for thinking positive or negative about our body, it is us who decides to change the way we look! The power is always in our hands but maybe we realise later!

We must try to love all our stretch marks, loose skin, tummy fat, thigh fat etc so that we attain the internal happiness first and then come to the external appearance. We are the one to change the perception of one’s own body image.